Hello.
My name is Shalayne. (Hiiiiii, Shalayne)
And, I don't talk to my baby.
Yes, it's true. I did not know I had a problem until my loving husband brought this issue to light. I denied everything. Now, I am ready to admit my problem. This disease has a name: New Mothers Who Won't Talk to Their Offspring Syndrome. ( At least I'm not postpartum or have Munchhausen Syndrome by Proxy.)
It's not like I don't want to talk to Sweet P. I am completely in love with this little girl. I often just hold her in awe. Many thoughts and emotions consume me when she is in my arms. I often silently pray over her and dream about her future. My intentions are loving and motherly as possible...just not verbal. In my defense, it is a proven fact that the majority of communication is NON verbal.
What I don't say, I communicate with a touch. Sweet P does not understand the words "I Love You" at the moment. She does understand when I brush a cheek with my hand and kiss her tiny lips that it is love. Surely, her future GPA is not disadvantage due to my lack of newbornonics. I did try talking to her during a diaper change the other day. The changing table is against a window which provides a view of trees and cute squirrels. I attempted to describe the seen using as many adjectives possible in hopes that millions of baby girl's nurons would fire off increasing her mental capacity. Mid squirrel lesson, I stopped. Sweet P doesn't have a dang clue what I'm talking about. She knows my voice. She knows I'm a little quiet and that I do not have the best singing voice, but she knows it's me.
There will come a time when I will painstakingly describe every minute detail about the world around her, but for now, I will whisper in her ear what I always do: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."
Most unimpressed with the Pumpkin Patch
Mom's dog, River, most impressed with the Pumpkin Patch
River is tiny in life, but HUGE compared to baby girl
(*Heart is melting)
Dear Daughter, I love you
5 comments:
Love to read your posts. You have a wonderful way with words.
Shalayne! I've been reading your blog & I'm almost crying! I'm so so happy for you. I keep "aww"ing & "loooook"ing to my boyfriend to make sure he's fully aware of how adorable your new family of 3 is. I hope I can come visit soon! I'm living in Dallas these days. Love & miss you dearly! -Laken
(P.S. I tried texting you... do you even receive them (I texted you a few months ago), or have the same number? It's obviously been too long.)
You are just a doll. My mom always talked about and thought so much of all three of your girls (mom included). You were both very dedicated student atheletes. I gathered that's what you did (pe coach) by some of your posts and conversations with the kids. That is the best job ever - one that is ridiculously hard to come by up here. When you get your feet under you, you ought to consider writing a book of short stories combing your experiences at school, at home, and on the ranch. I love your style - short, witty, real, and sassy.
Oh - if you ever consider getting rid of the pe books, let me know. I'd love to have one just to have it. Take care. Love that little angel. My first 4 years with mine have just slipped right by.
Your writing is so, so good. So evocative. I agree with Candie...you could write short stories because you turn what could be mundane into the extraordinary. It's a gift not many people have.
And here's my other comment: Wooowwww! I can't believe how *tiny* Presley is compared to River!
I get excited every time I see that you've updated your blog! (Just like I get excited every time Kellie Downing Crain Judd posts a new picture!) Your words, your pictures... so beautiful and inspiring!
You know, when my little Ava was born... I put down my camera for a while. I couldn't take pictures of her. My husband even pointed it out ( I think he might have been a little hurt. I had thousands of pics of Stevie, but didn't seem as excited about photographing Ava. ) Hardly the case.
I was so engulfed with how tiny and beautiful she was. My focus, instead, was on soaking up ALL of that love that just kept pouring out of my heart.
It's ok to be speechless. Someday those words will come. I do know about the love :)
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